These are important tips for family caregivers and everyone else, too. There is always the possibility that you will either be a caregiver or need one at some point in your life. It’s smart to prepare for the hard winter of the caregiving season by taking care of yourself, and it isn’t selfish to do so.
Okay, so what does it mean to be a family caregiver?
Family caregivers provide an average of 23.7 hours of care each week. This number goes up substantially for those whose care recipients live with them (37.4 hours per week), making caregiving the equivalent to a full-time job.–Ashley Huntsberry-Lett
I think the hours are on the light side for live-in caregivers, especially during the pandemic. But, unfortunately, I can tell you firsthand that paid caregivers are few and far between because we’ve been without help for almost four months.
According to Aging Care, there are 𝟓𝟑 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐬 providing unpaid care for relatives and friends (Click here for a full report on caregiving in the US, with more 2020 stats and info).
Four tips for caregivers
1. Identify anticipatory grief where it exists and take steps to relieve it in healthy ways.
2. Prevent overwhelming fatigue by taking good care of yourself first so you can care for your loved ones.
3. Please don’t let guilt for things you can’t change weigh you down. It is a waste of your precious energy.
4. Don’t forget that 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫, so be ready to enjoy it.
Caregiver, friend, please take care of yourself. It’s essential for you, the loved one you care for, and the rest of your family and friends.
Take care, friends. You can do this! But it’s a lot easier with Jesus by your side.
Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”Matthew 19:26 (NLT)
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯, 𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱 𝘢 ❤️ 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴, or share a tip or two of your own.
Huntsberry-Lett, A. (2021, October 28). Caregiver statistics: Facts about family caregivers. AgingCare.com. Retrieved January 21, 2022, from https://www.agingcare.com/articles/who-are-family-caregivers-459287.htm
Photo by Heye Jensen on Unsplash
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Suzette, it sounds like you are receiving God’s grace, yet acknowledging the stretching that comes with caregiving, especially with sixteen weeks of no paid relief.
My SIL did the main caregiving for my MIL, but we moved closer to help give respite relief. Towards the end of my MIL’s life, my husband was a lot more intentional to speak with my SIL on Saturdays to allow her to verbally decompress from her week. I think it helped her to know that we were available – verbally, and physically any time she needed us.
I couldn’t do any of this without Gods’ grace. Caregiving can be isolating. Bless you both for being available to you SIL. Thankfully, I have a husband that is “all in” with me. My brother lives close by and a couple of years ago he stepped up his help with our mom, who is 92 and still lives in a senior apt with a lot of family support.
One of my best friends is in the thick of being the caregiver for her aging parents. We got to eat breakfast together today and she told me about some positive changes she’s making this year to do some self-care. So important. Thanks for this great advice here!
Yes, self-care is so important to preventing injury, depression, and burnout in general. I’m glad she’s making changes that will help her situation. Feel free to share any of my info with her.
Thank you, Suzette, great tips, and your compassion shines through. I am not currently a caregiver, though I was for 10 years caring for my chronically ill daughter, until she married. I fully understand the overwhelm of being “on” 24/7, as she would wake me many nights for help. I now have the blessing of supporting caregivers through hospice. Your labor is not in vain in the Lord!
Hi Donna. Thanks for your encouraging words, fellow caregiver. And thank you for your hospice work. We encountered hospice in 2007 (for my dad) and I’ve never met more caring people. You must that special skill-set and be willing to use it. We need more like you.
Ake ake kia kaha
means for ever, and be strong,
and though living feels like lava
and all things are going wrong,
keep your face turned to the fire,
keep your back straight, and stand tall,
gird your heart to never tire,
gird your soul to never fall,
for somewhere in the twist of days,
somewhere in the endless night,
somewhere in the endless maze
there is honour, burning bright,
so walk the Road in dignity
for world to marvel, and to see.
Andrew – THANK YOU! I know you can appreciate all that family caregivers experience. And I love that you mention “turning your face to the fire” in your poem. It reminds me of 2 Timothy 1:6-7 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.
Suzette,
Thank you for sharing your tips with Grace & Truth Link-Up Self-care is so important. I will share with my private FB group—Embracing Faith & Mental Illness from a Caregiver’s Perspective. Here is a tip to add: Learn how to ask for help. No one can read your mind. Maree
Thank you, Maree Dee. I appreciate you sharing the info and adding yours. Asking for help was so hard for me, and it took a long time for me to accept that did need help. I was trying to live up to what I thought others expected. Of course, that was wrong. We all need help from time to time. I didn’t know you had this fb group. I’ll head over there next. Thanks.