This has been a tough year. Illness, accidents, job changes, all affecting our home dynamic. As a result, I’ve been in a funk, unsettled, trying to adjust to this new normal.
On December 23, 2017, Mom fell and spent a lot of time in the hospital or rehab. My disabled sister came to live with us while mom was being cared for. That’s when I had to adjust my work schedule to start later to accommodate her day program, and that means I get home later, we eat dinner later, we get to bed later, and…you get it. Then we decided it was time for my sister Michelle, we call her Mitch, to stay with us permanently.
During this time, I was also having trouble at work and I cried out for God to change a situation. BOY! He sure did. My role at work dramatically changed, causing me to question so much about the twenty years I had spent pouring myself into my work there. I felt betrayed and humiliated. I was angry, disappointed, hurt. He stipped away what had become too important to me. I isolated myself at work, at church, and even at home.
It took some time for me to realize that, while I was having a giant pity party and the enemy was celebrating. I was playing right into his plans. But, thanks be to God! He gives us the Victory through or Lord, Jesus Christ (1 Cor 15:57 (NIV).
Through all this I prayed and I knew He was with me, but I couldn’t see Him in this mess. It wasn’t until I asked my dear sisters in Christ to pray for me and began to urgently seek God’s face through prayer and study that I realized all of this has a purpose. His answer to my prayer is what He wants and, as painful as it is, I’ve surrendered to it. I know God is stretching me, testing me, and I’m expectant of the blessing that He has for me as a result. I believe He will reveal next steps when He knows I’m ready.
For now, I know that we’ve adapted our homelife to this new normal. I will adjust to my new role at work and, until God moves me, I will continue to work hard and cheerfully at all I do, just as though I were working for the Lord. (Col 3:23, TLB).
I see my priorities shifting, as they should have long ago, to God and family. I’ll continue to take care of Mom and Mitch, with the help of my wonderful husband, for as long as they need. In the meantime, I will trust God even in the hard spaces.