Hello Caregiver friend,
Today, I’m here to remind you that being a family caregiver is hard (as if you didn’t already know). Great opener, right!? Seriously, though, you will have both good and bad days–focus on the good ones. On the other hand, dealing with the reality of caregiving and its energy-sucking emotions (click to read more), like grief, guilt, and regret, can make focusing on the good times a tad difficult. Or you just might be too tired to think about it.
Having been there and done that (not minimizing what you’re going through), I’m here today to offer family caregivers four tips to help manage the overwhelm and keep smiling. This falls under the self-care umbrella because it’s more about your mindset than your manicure.
Photo by kylie De Guia on Unsplash
Four tips for caregivers
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- Don’t let caregiver guilt over things you can’t change weigh you down. It is a waste of your precious energy.
- Identify anticipatory grief and take steps to relieve it in healthy ways.
- Practice caregiver self-care: Prevent overwhelming fatigue by taking good care of yourself first.
- Don’t forget that 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫, so be ready to enjoy it.
Over the next few posts, we’ll explore each area. But, for today, let’s focus on the energy-sucking emotion of caregiver guilt (Ugh!).
Caregiver Guilt
Of course, we carry caregiver guilt. Family caregivers never believe we’ve done enough (or enough things right), or maybe we just don’t want to do another thing today, and we’re mad about all of it. Then we feel guilty for feeling the way we feel. It’s not pretty, but it’s true for many caregivers. Why?
“Caregiver guilt often results from unrealistic expectations for yourself. You want to be the perfect caretaker for your loved one and provide them with the highest quality of life.” Melanie Donohue, LCSW
Donohue says, “Caregivers are not miracle workers, though.” Say that out loud, my friend. No one but Jesus is perfect, so cut yourself a little slack.
Feelings of guilt cause many caregivers to delay much-needed respite and healthy activities leading to long-term physical and mental consequences. Caregiver guilt can turn into resentment. According to an article in Today’s Caregiver, “It’s normal to feel like you’re missing something when so much of your time is taken up taking care of someone else. ” Again, take it easy on yourself, none of this is easy to carry around.
The important takeaway is–don’t let guilt fester, it can suck any energy you have left right out of you. Click here to learn more.
Looking ahead
You can’t do over, but you can do better. Let go of caregiver guilt. Instead, embrace what God has for you today.
Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. (Romans 12:12 CSB)
This verse can seem impossible for some long-term, full-time caregivers to step into, but with God, nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37).
- Hope: If you are a believer, you can live in joyful hope. Even if we don’t always feel joyful, we always have hope.
- Patience: Because we have hope, we can find patience, a fruit of the Spirit, grown in us out of god’s love for us.
- Prayer: We pray because we believe God hears. If we believe he hears us, we hope for an answer.
God knows what we need for this caregiving journey, and we can trust Him to provide it.
Blog exerpt – Renewed Hope for Caregivers Click here for more.
Let it go! Let it go!
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Letting go isn’t easy, but let go you must! (Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but I had to make the point.) Let caregiver guilt go so you can focus on what is going right on your caregiving journey. If you need a little help doing that, then get yourself a caregiver coach or speak with a counselor, and understand that you can’t do more than your best.
Caregiver friend, you are already carrying a lot. There’s no need to carry around guilt, one of the energy-sucking emotions, on top of it. Take a breath, it’s okay to put it down.
Praying for your progress,
Suzette
Resources:
- Melanie Donohue, LCSW, 7 Tips for Dealing with Caregiver Guilt, January 10, 2023
- Malika Brown, MSW, LSW, Dealing with Caregiver Guilt, April 25, 2023
