4 Tips for Family Caregivers – #4 Part 1 How to Prepare for Your Caregiving Future

This episode contains some tough content. But it’s real, and these are things family caregivers should consider as they prepare for their next caregiving season. Like the changing seasons on life’s calendar, today we’ll explore the spring and summer of caregiving. Look for fall and winter in a future post. And if you are dropping in today, catch up by clicking on tips #1 letting go of caregiver guild, #2 about anticipatory grief, and #3 on caregiver self-care.

Caregiving has its seasons, but they aren’t on a cyclical timeline like our changing seasons.

• Spring – Recognizing that caregiving is in your future.
• Summer – Stepping in to help regularly.
• Fall – Actively engaged in daily caregiving and feeling the effects on your personal life and health.
• Winter – You’re tired, grieving, sad, lonely, and maybe even afraid of what comes next.

Fall and winter can happen anytime. OUCH! Didn’t see that one coming. However, one thing is for sure: spring always follows winter, and with it, new life. It’s your life, so be sure that you’re ready to live it. While we can’t escape all the challenges we’ll face on this family caregiving journey, we can take important steps to rise above them.

Your success involves getting the support you’ll need when you need it and taking care of yourself, always. Most importantly, day by day, trust God and choose to be strong and courageous in Him.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” –Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

Keep reading for examples of what each season might look like for you, and learn more about what you can do to prepare for the next caregiving season. 

Spring

Scenario: You’ve started to notice Dad slowing down a bit. Maybe the carpet needs vacuuming, the fridge is a little empty, and the bills aren’t always paid on time. Although Dad hasn’t asked for help, you’re beginning to understand that you’ll need to step into a caregiving role soon.

You start offering to drive Dad to his doctor’s appointments.

It’s probably time to have a conversation and decide what your role should be, what kind of support you might need or want, and get Dad’s buy-in on accepting help. 

Click this link for a helpful article for first-time family caregivers.

Now is the best time, while you still have some available, to explore available

resources that can help you care for your loved one. Time in the early stages of caregiving is a luxury that most caregivers don’t realize they have, especially those in the sandwich generation (Click to read what I wrote about it in 2020), with children still at home who may already feel overwhelmed. Take time in this season, while you still have it, to prepare for the next caregiving season. 

The term ‘sandwich generation’ is becoming so commonplace that it was added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary in 2006. This rising demographic already accounts for about 47 percent of adults in their 40s and 50s who have a parent 65 or older and are also raising a youngster or supporting a grown child. In fact, one in seven of these adults are financially assisting both their parents and one or more children. –Senior LIving

Important considerations to discuss with your loved one:

• Identify ways to keep your care recipient in their own home as long as it’s safe.
• Learn about the legal side of things, like a medical power of attorney, a will, and an Advanced Directive, for starters. 
• Locate the life insurance policies and contact the insurance company to update beneficiaries and ownership if needed.
• Keep important papers in one place so you can easily find them in an emergency.
• Familiarize yourself with your care recipient’s medical needs and conditions.
• Encourage your care recipient to stay engaged with friends and in social activities (and so should you, by the way).
• Be a part of their life as much as possible. This will help them and allow you to identify new changes. 

CAUTION: Tread lightly. It may not be an easy conversation to have with your loved one, and you may need to have it a few times before making any progress, but don’t give up. 

Summer 

A little further down the caregiving road, you’re not only driving to doctor appointments, now you’re also going in to hear what the doctor says, helping implement the doctor’s orders, and managing medications. 

The days seem longer than usual now. That might be because you find yourself doing the laundry, helping with housework, and managing Mom’s finances. Thank goodness for online banking and shopping (take advantage of online conveniences when you can). 

Maybe you’ve set up auto-refills for prescriptions, arranged for meals to be delivered, and transportation to the senior center. You could probably use some hands-on in-home help, but with all the deliveries set up, you’re managing pretty well on your own. And you don’t really want to ask for help, and who could you ask anyway, right? I’ve been there.

Caregiving isn’t taking you away from work and home too much, but you are beginning to use your vacation time for Mom’s doctor’s appointments, and your weekends are stacked with errands, family activities, and taking care of two households. Whew!! You’re starting to feel the squeeze of caregiving and are a bit worried about your ability to do this thing. Be encouraged, freind, you are not alone.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10 NLT)

Don’t wait

My best advice is–don’t wait. Make a plan and seek help before there’s a crisis. It’s always easier to line up services ahead of time than to perform triage in an emergency. You’ll need time to prioritize needs and discover what is available in your area. 

In an emergency, you’ll have fewer choices and may not be thinking clearly. If your loved one ends up in the hospital, you’ll have only until discharge day to decide the next steps. How will you take care of them? Will they have to move in with you, into rehab, or a nursing home? Believe me, these aren’t choices you want to make under duress. It’s better for everyone concerned if you prepare for the next caregiving season now. 

Here are a few ideas on how: 

• First, make every effort to help them maintain their independence and dignity. It’s not only about you.
• Be proactive and contact local agencies, family, friends, local community groups, and your local church to line up in-home help, companionship, and third-party transportation.
• If finances allow and it’s appropriate, consider assisted living. There are long waiting lists, so start before there’s an urgency, if you can.
• Be sure to practice self-care daily. It’s important, so please make time for it.
• Prevent isolation by staying engaged with friends and family. That’s you and your care recipient.
• Consider a caregiver coach. Depending on the level of care required, a coach can offer guidance and encouragement. Mine was worth her weight in gold.

Consistency is key. You don’t have to do it all at once, but do take steps consistently toward providing good solutions for the future. Unfortunately, this won’t be a set-it-and-forget-it plan because, you know, life happens. We can’t know what comes next in life, but with prayerful consideration and together with input from your medical team and care recipient, certain outcomes can be anticipated. Take the time now to prepare for the next caregiving season

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)

Stay tuned for 4 Tips for Family Caregivers – #4 How to Prepare for Your Caregiving Future Part 2, where we will get into the fall and winter seasons of caregiving. However, in the meantime, remember that spring always follows winter.