Ever feel like your life is out of order? For example, I stopped going to church in March of 2020 and haven’t returned to in-person services yet. That’s not typical for me, and church has been in-person for months now. So why am I still watching online (and only sometimes)? Maybe it’s fear of rejection.
Then, I keep telling myself I haven’t returned because I’m too busy on Sunday mornings. Of course, as a family caregiver, I have to get ready for the day, but I also get my sister up and going. And all of that usually takes most of the morning. So getting out the door and making it to church on time would be a challenge.
Feelings of rejection
More likely, my absence from church is related to my fear of rejection than anything else. A few things happened before Covid making going back harder than expected.
You see, those experiences pop into my mind every time I think, “This is the Sunday I’ll go back.” So then I decide to stay home again. But those feelings are false.
Recently, while listening to a podcast, I heard the host saying that the people who offend us probably don’t even know they did or said something to hurt us. And I believe that the host is correct.
Really! How could they not know? At least that’s what people like me think. Can you relate?
You see, those of us sensitive to rejection for whatever reason tend to overthink, replay and internalize a seemingly small event as a personal rejection. I don’t pretend to understand the psychology behind the feelings.
The good news is that we can recover from feelings of rejection. Sometimes we just have to stop to rethink our thinking.
I mean, unless it is intentional (and it usually isn’t) or we discuss it with them, people would never know they hurt us. But, when we cling to the hurt and, even worse, allow false feelings of rejection to creep in, we tend to disengage and build walls of protection from future hurts. That’s why being aware can help.
The enemy wins when choose to isolate. So don’t do that.
Truth over feelings
The truth is, I know why life feels out of order lately, and maybe you are experiencing something similar. It’s not the busy Sunday mornings of this caregiver. It is the loss of human connection with my church family, corporate worship and prayer, shared service, and the Lord’s supper,
If some offense keeps you from going back to church or engaging with friends or family, it’s time to tear down the wall, friend.
Let truth lead you, not feelings.
Please remember this when life feels out of order because you’re dealing with feelings of rejection–God chose you. He will never reject you or leave you, and He wants to build a relationship with you and for you to build relationships with others. So, trust in God to restore what you’ve lost to false feelings of rejection.
Yes, it will still be challenging to get to my church on Sunday mornings. And I may have to attend Saturday evening services at a different church. But, whatever happens, I’m going to give it a try. How about you?
Do you feel rejected when someone hurts your feelings, or can you just shake it off? Let me know in the comments how you deal with rejection.
Visit the Confessions of a Caregiver page to meet my sister, Michelle, and learn more about my caregiver life.
You are welcome to share this with a friend who might be struggling with feelings of rejection.