Ever wish someone would have handed you the “Tips for Family Caregivers Manual” before you took on the job? (What, wait…there’s a manual!?) I sure do. Practical Dos & Don’ts would have been helpful when I became my sister’s 24/7 caregiver, and now I help care for my Mom.
Sometimes it happens all at once and sometimes there’s a gradual build-up. Either way, being a family caregiver can, and most likely will, become overwhelming at some point. On the other hand, we can learn to manage the overwhelm and make the best of life even after landing in uncharted family caregiving territory.
Choosing joy doesn’t come naturally for some of us, especially when a loved one is in crisis. As I said in Part one (click here for my last post), it’s not a one-and-done deal. Choosing joy takes practice (I’ll keep repeating this) and repetition before becoming your go-to response. Remember from part one, “practice doesn’t make it perfect, but it does make it easier.” Read on for a few tips that may help.
Do’s & Don’ts Tips for Family Caregivers
These tips will help set you up to choose joy more easily by preventing some of the thrills and spills of family caregiving like burnout, loneliness, physical injury, and emotional rollercoastering (Is that word?). Here we go:
- Don’t wait until life becomes unmanageable to reach out for help–Hands-on help and the right equipment can prevent injuries for you and your loved one (ask me how I know).
- Don’t expect someone to come to your rescue, instead be proactive by researching resources early.
- Don’t isolate yourself from friends–If they can’t be available for you in this caregiving role, don’t condemn them, just find new ones.
- Don’t take on the caregiving world alone–Early on, find a coach, counselor, or both. (Ep. 4: Caregiver Strong Podcast)
- Don’t put all of your energy into caregiving–Save some for yourself and what you enjoy doing.
“The research, based on questionnaires and interviews with 46 informal caregivers, showed that across four weeks, 94% reported experiencing musculoskeletal pain in at least one body part, with the lower back (76%), knees, shoulder, and wrist (43% each) being the most common sites for discomfort. More than 78% of caregivers said that the pain impacted their ability to provide care, and 66% said the pain impacted their overall quality of life.” (Social Work Today)
- Do educate yourself about your loved one’s condition so that you can prepare yourself (and your family) for the future.
- Do learn what your care recipient’s medical insurance offers, such as palliative care, nurse visits, video support, medical equipment, and nutrition support.
- Do organize your home to accommodate supplies, special equipment, and food. Being organized saves you time and energy. (Ep. 1: Caregiver Strong Podcast)
- Do install safety devices, as needed, to prevent injury to you and your loved one.
- Do avail yourself of every available resource.
- Do set up systems that make room for respite (fun, sleep, and social life, too).
- Do make plans–It will take more effort and planning than before becoming a family caregiver, but you’re worth it.
- Do practice self-care, including Spiritual Self-care (click here). Find renewal through prayer, meditation, and reading God’s word. Again, practice makes it easier.
- Do go to your wellness checks, eat healthy food, move, rest, and sleep. (Get your FREE Caregiver Self-care Calendar below.)
You cannot stop the impact of a chronic or progressive illness or a debilitating injury on someone for whom you care. But there is a great deal that you can do to take responsibility for your personal well-being and to get your own needs met. – Family Caregiver Alliance
God Can Help You Choose Joy
Me and Mom
What do you think, choose joy and live your best life today, or continue lamenting over what’s missing.
We can’t go back to relive the time we wasted waiting for things to change or lamenting over our circumstances. Instead, move forward into this family caregiving role. Follow God’s lead instead of trying to find your own way. He’s called you to caregiving for a reason, so trust Him to help you do it.
Yes, family caregiver, making joy your “go to” emotion takes practice. At first, you may have to remind yourself to choose joy hourly, then daily, until finally, it becomes a natural part of your caregiving life. Don’t passively let life happen to you. Instead, actively make the most of where you are today.
My prayer is that these few tips for family caregivers will indeed lead to making better caregiver-life choices and make choosing joy just a little bit easier every day.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4, ESV)
FREE Download – 31 Days of Seeking Self-care Calendar
References:
Informal Caregivers at Risk for Chronic Pain, Injury, Social Work Today, retrieved 1/15/2025
Taking Care of YOU: Self-Care for Family Caregivers, Website: www.caregiver.org, retrieved 1/22/2025
